We've reached a point in the school year where classroom behaviors are spiking a bit - so this week's All School Meeting will focus on RESPECT. Children aren’t necessarily born with a built-in sense of respect for others - they need to be taught to be respectful. From birth, kids have to manipulate their world to get their needs met - starting with crying, which is natural and appropriate. But as kids get older, kids need to be taught respectful ways of getting their needs met.
It's common to see children and teens arguing with adults (or ignoring them outright!), using foul language, copping an attitude, not using manners, or respecting those in authority. Sadly, this has become the norm for many children and teens. Our world seems to glorify a disrespectful, angry, rude way of dealing with others, which makes it even harder to teach kids to be respectful. So how can you change the culture of your own classroom if disrespectful behavior is starting - or is already a way of life?
It's common to see children and teens arguing with adults (or ignoring them outright!), using foul language, copping an attitude, not using manners, or respecting those in authority. Sadly, this has become the norm for many children and teens. Our world seems to glorify a disrespectful, angry, rude way of dealing with others, which makes it even harder to teach kids to be respectful. So how can you change the culture of your own classroom if disrespectful behavior is starting - or is already a way of life?
Here are 5 things to remember...
1. Catch Disrespect Early
It's good to catch disrespectful behavior early, if possible. IF your students are rude or disrespectful, don't turn a blind eye. Intervene and say, "We don't talk to each other that way in this classroom." When you think a child might be crossing the line, a good rule of thumb is to ask yourself, "Would I let my neighbor say these things to me? Would I let a stranger? My own child? If the answer is no, don't let a student do it, either.
2. Teach Children Basic Social Skills
It may sound old fashioned, but it's very important to teach basic manners like saying "please" and "thank you". Understand that using manners - just a simple "excuse me" or "thank you" - is also a form of empathy. Disrespectful behavior is the opposite of being empathetic and having good manners.
3. Set Realistic Expectations and Plan Ahead
Recognize students' limits, and try to plan accordingly. It is helpful to set limits beforehand, and to be clear with your kids about what you expect of them. This will help your students understand what is expected of them and what the consequences will be if they don't meet those expectations. If they meet the goals, certainly give them credit - but also if they don't, follow through on whatever consequences were set up for them.
4. Talk About What Happened Afterward
If a child is disrespectful or rude, talk about what happened once things are caml. This is a chance for you to listen to the child and hear what was going on with her when the behavior happened. At a later time, talk with the student about what could have been done differently.
5. Don't Take it Personally
One of the biggest challenges for adults is to take the child's behavior personally. Your role is to just deal with the child's behavior as objectively as possible. And that can be tough!
Conclusion
Kids really do want limits, even if they protest. And they will protest! The massage that they get when you step in and set limits is that they're cared about, that they're loved, and that you really want them to be successful and able to function well in the world. Our students won't thank us now, but that's OK! It's not about getting them to thank us, it's about doing the right thing.
We will review RESPECT on Thursday, with the hopes of seeing an increase in our classrooms in the next few weeks!1. Catch Disrespect Early
It's good to catch disrespectful behavior early, if possible. IF your students are rude or disrespectful, don't turn a blind eye. Intervene and say, "We don't talk to each other that way in this classroom." When you think a child might be crossing the line, a good rule of thumb is to ask yourself, "Would I let my neighbor say these things to me? Would I let a stranger? My own child? If the answer is no, don't let a student do it, either.
2. Teach Children Basic Social Skills
It may sound old fashioned, but it's very important to teach basic manners like saying "please" and "thank you". Understand that using manners - just a simple "excuse me" or "thank you" - is also a form of empathy. Disrespectful behavior is the opposite of being empathetic and having good manners.
3. Set Realistic Expectations and Plan Ahead
Recognize students' limits, and try to plan accordingly. It is helpful to set limits beforehand, and to be clear with your kids about what you expect of them. This will help your students understand what is expected of them and what the consequences will be if they don't meet those expectations. If they meet the goals, certainly give them credit - but also if they don't, follow through on whatever consequences were set up for them.
4. Talk About What Happened Afterward
If a child is disrespectful or rude, talk about what happened once things are caml. This is a chance for you to listen to the child and hear what was going on with her when the behavior happened. At a later time, talk with the student about what could have been done differently.
5. Don't Take it Personally
One of the biggest challenges for adults is to take the child's behavior personally. Your role is to just deal with the child's behavior as objectively as possible. And that can be tough!
Conclusion
Kids really do want limits, even if they protest. And they will protest! The massage that they get when you step in and set limits is that they're cared about, that they're loved, and that you really want them to be successful and able to function well in the world. Our students won't thank us now, but that's OK! It's not about getting them to thank us, it's about doing the right thing.
Sue
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